Rules for the Future

After inspiration from today's post from Very Smart Brothas, I have composed a list of rules I wish I had told my younger self, and which my future self should keep in mind.

1. You have incredible intuition. Do not doubt it or your own integrity for feeling inclined to follow it.
2. Stop making excuses for men. Period. Cut them off as soon as they start cutting up.
3. Stop giving so much of yourself to people who can't say they love you.
4. Someone out there values you for who you are. Men who can't understand you cannot truly value or love you.
5. Wear condoms always. It isn't about trust. It is about self-protection. Nothing is infallible.
6. Live your life for you and your daughter. Nobody will look out for the two of you the way you will.
7. You are wary of Church Folk for a reason. Nobody is perfect, and people who pretend to be are particularly off-kilter. Remember the folks who have been best to you. How many of them seemed perfect?
8. Until you walk down the aisle, men don't deserve unconditional love! Save it for your girlfriends.
9. You don't need to go to him. If he wants you, he will come to you.
10. Never play games with the one you love. Always be honest, or you will regret it.

Self-Improvement

I started my long-procrastinated self improvement as of this week. I finally went to the dermatologist, and she prescribed me Retin A Micro at .1%, a 4% hydroquinon cream and BenzaClin (a 5% benzoyl peroxide gel with an added topical antibiotic). Three days later I am already peeling. My forehead broke out a little, also. I am looking forward to the results. She also prescribed me something for my eczema, including this great moisturizer and it looks tons better already.

I also plan to start working out. It has been suggested to me to spend 30 minutes on the bike per day. I'll try to do that. I'm also going to buy batteries so I can start back on my elliptical. I'll say I'll do the 300 calorie workout every day for now. We'll see... Maybe I can do the bike in the morning and the elliptical in the evenings. I don't know how much I can trust myself to do that, but regardless, I plan on getting a physical evaluation soon so I can develop a real workout plan.

What I think I may do is do the bike and elliptical for the rest of the month and start tracking my food in hopes I can reduce my weight by about 5 - 10 pounds. At that point, I'll start weight training.

I WILL be fine as hell by December.

Expressing my perception of God

God never stopped making sense to me. God actually just made more and more sense the more I lived and saw and learned and read. I'd say that part of that contentment with the idea of God comes from the fact that I also think quite a bit about the nature of God and how he exists. Biblical texts provide many hints as to the nature of man and the consequences of men interacting with one another, but very little about God and His nature is expressly stated.

I am rather partial to filling in the blanks with theological theories of monism. The idea of God as the universe and the simultaneous existence of varied manifestations of him (including anthromorphic manifestations!) seems to be almost universal.

I like a lot of the biblical allusions to such a state of being:
-the idea of "the Creation" being a presentation by God of himself
-the trilogy as the "persons" of God
-man as the "image" or "son" of God (and, on the flip side of that, God's choice to be the "son" of man)
-hell/evil as the mere absence of/separation from God.

These references probably first occurred to me as allusions to that state of monistic being after I read some about the M-theory and different physics-related theories of everything.

Honestly, I always thought the biblical description of the Creation was odd. How does one bring something altogether new into being as it appeared God had when he called light into existance? I never quite QUESTIONED it, but I always analyzed its feasibility.

When I was younger, after reading about the law of conservation of energy, I decided that God was energy. However, after I read about the string theories, I decided THAT was a more appropriate concept of God/the universe--that God IS these strings or branes or whatever and that the things we have no physical conception of--the soul, the spirit, etc. are unapparent because they are manifestations of string behavior which is of no relevance to our temporal selves.

Energy, the various manifestations of God that we are capable as temporal beings of perceiving, is only a part of that theory.

To me, that made sense. It also made me smile to think that, at some point, the most advanced scientific thinkers postulate that the universe springs forth from something that just IS. As the Bible puts it, God = I am that I am.

Uncited "facts" about Meyers-Briggs Personality Types & IQ

• Other personality traits being the same, an iNtuitive person (one who grasps patterns and seeks possibilities) is 27 times more likely to have a high IQ than a Sensing person (one who focuses on sensory details and the here-and-now).

• Again, other traits being the same, an Introverted person is 8 times more likely to have a high IQ than one who is Extraverted; a Thinking (logic-oriented) person is 2.5 times more likely to have a high IQ than a Feeling (people-oriented) person; and a Judging person (one who seeks closure) is about twice as likely to have a high IQ than a Perceiving person (one who likes to keep his options open).

• Moreover, if you encounter an INTJ (Introverted, iNtuitive, Thinking, Judging), there is a 37% probability that his IQ places him in the top 2 percent of the population. The probability is 20% for an INTP, 15% for an INFJ, and 8% for an INFP. These four types account for 66% of the high-IQ population but only 6% of the total population.

From: libertycorner.blogspot.com

...confirming that if I didn't have a "high IQ", I'd be a failure...

Thank you, White Stripes for returning to your minimalist roots.

Some days I wish I were more like everybody else, but today is not one one of those days. Today I am appreciative that my INTJ personality allows me to have so much fun by myself. Today I am glad that my favorite pizza topping is spinach and that I only eat whole wheat pasta and bread. Today I am sure that people whose favorite pastimes do not include listening to the White Stripes while drinking Izzes or dancing around their homes naked listening to M.I.A. are missing something dear from their lives. I am sure that someone out there can appreciate a woman whose wrathful rage ends in a kitchen full of baked goods, whose happiness is found in peppy music featuring the vocals of ecstatic/screeching women and whose joy begins and ends in a good book. I am sure somebody will appreciate a God-fearing woman with a 99+ percentile IQ. He will not be repulsed by the pairing of intelligence and spirituality, but will realize that the former OUGHT to follow the latter. He will "get" that I wear red shirts with green shoes and earrings because green and red are complementary colors, along with the host of things which are first nature to me, but which others find idiosyncratic. Today is one of those days when I think God did pretty good when he thought me up, and I remember that life is pretty good, and getting better. Today I enjoy the continual formation of me while looking forward to the seventh day (when I'll return to my youthful schedule of sketching random objects in the morning, reading in the afternoons and composing/arranging music in the evening). Moreover, I'll appreciate that schedule as I never did as a child for its extended absence. Yup, yup, yup! It's alright being me, today.

Accomplishments & Decisions

My pretty little girl has been doing so much lately. In just the past week she has:

• Walked for the first time
• Run for the first time
• Said her first phrase ("Hey, baby!")
• Eaten her first "real" meal (salmon with veggies)
• Knocked on a door for the first time
• Gone to her first church service

Being a mommy is great. The little lady was excellent in church until some chick came in over half an hour late with HER kid. Then, my little lady, excited to see another one of the little people, screamed "BABY!" It was pretty funny, especially considering the "baby" was several months her senior.

The princess brings me to some of the things I've been pondering lately.

1. Should I buy my daughter this lovely pink piano or is it representative of too much social conditioning?



2. Should I return to my Mac-loving ways? Or should I rough it for two more years with a nonMac computer? At least I can buy a POS Dell, now, in yellow. A Dell with all the goodies I want (including a TV tuner) would cost the same as a low-level MacBook.



3. If I shame my ancestors by going the Dell route, should I perpetuate my hippietechnological tendencies with a rejection of non-open source software? I've been a Mozilla girl from jump; I have been cool with OpenOffice for a while, now and am a fan of Nvu. Or would this be a denial of my Business major/law student roots? I am a lady of so much ostensible contradiction.

Note to Self

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all ways acknowledge Him, and he shall direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh and strength to your bones…

…Let [the wisdom and understanding of the Lord] not depart from your eyes—keep sound wisdom and discretion; so they will be life to your soul and grace to your neck. Then, you will walk safely in your way, and your foot will not stumble. When you lie down, you will not be afraid; yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet.

Proverbs 3:5-8; 21-24

Over the past couple of months, I have had a lot of trouble sleeping, and have been generally unhappy. And, I have been foolishly wondering why. For much too long, I have been surrounding myself with the wrong people. I have been forming friendships, trusts and alliances with people who did not have the same spiritual goals that I have. What is insane about this arduous process is that when I meet these people, I know that I should avoid them: I am granted that discernment by God, and in my own attempt to be kind, tolerant and open-minded by secular standards, I ignore this discernment. This is a dangerous thing, and a practice I now seek to rid myself of.

For if, after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the latter end is worse for them than the beginning. For it would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than having known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered to them. But it has happened to them according to the true proverb: “A dog returns to his own vomit,” and “a sow, having washed, to her wallowing in the mire.”

2 Peter 2:19-22

I am writing this note to remind myself to trust the spirit of discernment that God has given me, and to ask people I trust (for some reason or the other) to help me do that. I am coming to realize that it is not being judgmental to avoid people whose actions, words and especially SPIRIT are not in accordance with what God wants for my own spirit. This is completely biblical.

These six things the Lord hates; yes, seven are an abomination to Him:

-A proud look

-A lying tongue

-Hands that shed innocent blood

-A heart that devises wicked plans

-Feet that are swift in running to evil

-A false witness who speaks lies

And

-One who sows discord among brethren.

Proverbs 6:16-19

If God himself hates these things, then I think that I (a far lesser being) would be wise to avoid them and the people who perpetuate them. Evil spirits are pervasive, and one benefits NOTHING from associating with them. I have learned this dear lesson time and time again.

…By whom a person is overcome, by him also he is brought into bondage. Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness and lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For YOU are the temple of the living God…

2 Corinthians 6:14-16

Anyway, this is going to be my attitude going into the month of August, and my goal is to retain it henceforth, for my own benefit. When I take a critical look at my decision-making over the past five years, it is very troubling how far backward I have gone in my spiritual journey.

Please remind me of these things if you notice me straying from or ignoring them—or at least remind me to go to church every once in a while.

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